All of confusion
by Dreamy Ideal
Summary: When Hiei wakes up out of a daze he's said to have been in for months, can he handle knowing what he's done while he was out? RR please


Prologue: All of Confusion  
  
A/N: Well, after a long while and the extreme annoyances of a friend... I finally found the time to type this up. Not only that, but I managed to work in writing my résumé for my summer job. And finishing my original fiction. Look at that, I'm multi-tasking! Not my point though. Well, this is my first angst, so if this is pretty bad... say so, but don't be too graphic. I have feelings too, believe it or not.  
  
Warnings: I rated this R for a reason. I wanted to go PG-13; just because it was my first angst and it might not be that graphic as it seems to be. What else? Oh... Yaoi, rape, lime, lemon, blood, and little mentions of gore. (Isn't and gore the same thing?)  
  
Notes: OOC for Hiei  
  
Keys: **Dairy entry.**  
  
Dedications: For... what in hells is her name this month... Shizu. I know her as a hyper leprechaun... Never ask.   
  
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(Hiei POV)  
  
I don't even remember what happened in those months. Hell, I had trouble remembering I was a demon, that I was even alive for that matter. I was in a daze, not unlike a human coma, only... humans have more control of what they do in a coma, and I surly didn't.  
  
When I first came to, I was on my knees, in a grassy area of some sort. Vast amounts of were covering my body, I also found I wasn't wearing my shirt. I was also holding a dismembered arm in my hand. I couldn't se it clearly, clumps of were blocking my vision, making everything red.  
  
I tossed the arm aside in a bit of shock. I was a bit fearful of finding the owner of the arm. I moved my hands slowly, still trying to get my feeling back, to wipe the out of my eyes; that didn't do anything but spread the around, my hands were drenched with the red substance. Somehow, even with the blocking my vision, I was able to figure out I was in the near-by forest.  
  
The next thing I knew, I heard a loud, agonizing scream from behind me. I managed to turn myself around to find Botan, laying on her back, clutching the fabric over her stomach in pain. I pushed myself up, and the first thing I noticed was I was slightly taller, maybe around Kurama's height. Even thought that hit me as a shocker, I still proceeded toward Botan with some trouble, my legs felt like Jell-O, and that is an understatement. The sight of me seemed to make the scream even louder. Not that I wasn't flattered; I was still a demon and all, but Botan wouldn't normally scream when she saw me. When I came with a few inches of her, she pushed herself back with her feet and stopped screaming.  
  
"Hiei please." Botan spoke out to me with less fear in her voice then her actions gave off. "If you kill me... just.... don't kill anymore of us." She had trouble speaking without taking sharp breaths in the middle of her sentences and she constantly clutched to the area around her stomach, which I could see was brimming over with blood. I moved closer to her, this time she didn't move. I wanted to ask... what I had been doing. Why she thought I was going to kill her (other than the normal daily reasons), and why she said I killed anyone else. I didn't remember anyone; I couldn't remember anything. Maybe that's why I couldn't speak; I had forgotten how to.  
  
The next thing I knew, I was pushed from my side, near my blind spot, and my head collided with the bark. Now, normally a blow like that wouldn't hurt my, let alone leave a scratch, but all the confusion was going to my head. So I shouted out in pain and held my head, clutching the soon-to-be scar.  
  
"Botan!" I heard a scream coming from beside me, which I placed immediately to Kuwabara. The annoying ass human may have just pushed me. I turned to yell extreme profanity at him, but when I finally opened my mouth, instead of what I wanted to say, an array of incessant babble came out. I threw a hand over mouth in shock. I didn't even want to say anything close to what had came out. It was like... something inside me pulling at my voice box. I saw Yusuke come toward me, pulling up by my neck and pin me to the tree I was just bashed into. I opened my mouth again, to tell him he could get his hands off of me; but again when I opened my mouth to say what I wanted, all that came out was babble. Mostly cursing, not what I really wanted to say to this particular person, at that particular time.  
  
The next thing I was able to make out (remember, I had in my eyes, everything to me was fuzzy and red) was Kurama walking beside Yusuke. He said words I couldn't understand, or make out, then placed a necklace around my neck, and that's the last thing I could remember.

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When I came to for the second time that day, I was laying on my back. The had been removed from my eyes and my face. I lifted my hands to find that they were clean of , before someone place their hands on mine and pushed it down. I shot up straight and turned to find Kurama, faintly smiling at me.  
  
"You need your rest." He whispered unhappily. "You've been through a lot." I opened my mouth to speak, and this time, what I wanted to come out, managed to make it out without any flaws.  
  
"What have I been through?" I rasped. "How can I rest if I don't remember what I been through to rest for?" Kurama quietly cocked his head to the right. I watched with confused and angry eyes as he went over to the door, opened it, and stuck his head out.  
  
"Guys, he's awake." Kurama left the door open and walked back to the chair beside the bed, which I assumed to be his. I watched the door as Kuwabara, Keiko, Botan, and Yusuke holding the shoulders of Yukina walked in.  
  
"Look who I just got from the hospital of Posiden." Yusuke said to Kurama, ignoring me. Yukina looked at me, stroking her right arm with her left hand.  
  
"Brother Hiei," She spoke to me hesitantly. "Do you remember anything that happened?" I shook my head. "Not one thing?"" I shook my head again, complete honesty in my eyes, something that's usually never there. Yukina looked up at Yusuke and to Kurama.  
  
"I told you, the gypsy did a number on him." Kurama said, placing his hand on mine. "He can't remember anything after the spell." I moved my hand from under his and glared.  
  
"Gypsy's don't exist." I growled.  
  
"This one did." Yusuke said. "So you really don't remember anything you've done in the last two months?" He asked me, his hands never leaving my sister's shoulders.  
  
"Does it look like I do?" I snapped at him unwillingly in anger. "I don't even remember 2 months have pasted. All I remember is me and Kurama walking in that park, we were on a 'date' thing... and he dragged me to this stupid fortune teller, a booth in the middle of no where, she told our fortune, gave something to Kurama, he gave it to me, and that's all that I remember." Yusuke sighed at me.  
  
"Is there anyway to get rid of this thing permanently?" Kuwabara asked. "We don't want him to snap and kill anyone else." He glared at me. I raised an eyebrow and turned to Botan as she spoke.  
  
"Posiden is working on it." She said sadly, as if saying the 's name brought bad memories. "I should go check on how she's doing." She walked off, leaving me confused.  
  
"What happened to the brownie of a dork?" I asked. I always called her brownie, because she had brown skin, and she ate brownies like nothing and nobody else. I heard Kurama sigh and get up. He left the room, along with Yusuke and Kuwabara. I growled in aggravation.  
  
"Is no one going to tell me anything!" I shouted, almost knocking myself out from the pain in my neck. Yukina was the only one who remained. She came over and sat beside me, holding a leather back book. I looked at her in silence. "Will you tell me what happened?" I asked. She simply looked down. "And maybe you can tell me how I got so tall all of a sudden." Yukina laughed lightly. She then handed me the book she had been holding.  
  
"This was me and Posiden's diary." Yukina said as I took it. "We wrote everything that we saw or did in the last two months. It has everything that's happened to you and everyone else in it." She then smiled, patted my shoulder, and left the room. I sighed in complete confusion.  
  
"I guess I really have nothing else to do." I laid back against Kurama's headboard (He liked western things, including beds) and opened the leather in anticipation, slightly worrying about what I was doing I my daze.

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**Day 1  
  
Posiden: HI!!!  
  
Yukina: Hello.  
  
Posiden: Right now you're reading...  
  
Yukina and Posiden: Yukina and Posiden's diary!!  
  
Posiden: You shouldn't be though...  
  
Yukina: Yes, that is kind of rude.  
  
Posiden: Anyway for the next few months, we get to write the stuff that goes on in our demon lives.  
  
Yukina: Sounds like fun. And we'll start, right after school, because we are late.  
  
Posiden: We are. Lets go before I get detention again.  
  
Yukina: I guess we are writing everything we say now too... **


End file.
